Ride Your Mule Backwards
"Many years ago I saw a couple in psychotherapy who had lost a child to a protracted serious illness. During one session the child's father told me a story about an old Chinese sage that had helped him enormously during his grief. He had discovered it by chance in a 1946 detective novel.
Renowned as a wise man who was filled with zest for life and for life's adventures, the sage had one odd habit that provoked curiosity among the people. He always rode his mule backwards.
Frequently people asked him, "Why do you ride your mule backwards?"
He would respond, "In life, it makes no difference where one is going. The destination is unimportant. It is only what one does along the way that counts."
Pressing him further, they would say, "So how should we respond to life?"
"Do not become swollen with pride at triumph or despondent over defeat. Good fortune or bad fortune is unimportant. The vicissitudes of life are but the means to shape your character. If you suffer adversity and react in the proper way, in the long run you will be benefited as fully as though you had good fortune. Cooperate with Destiny to strengthen your character by whatever experience life has to offer."
The old man was indifferent to wealth, fame, and failure. He rode backwards so that he would pay less attention to what was happening to him and more attention to his own reactions.
When I heard this story, I was impressed by its wisdom and the comfort it had provided my client. I was doubly impressed by the way he had found it. Just when this young man thought his situation was overwhelming, he found that this story could help him make sense out of his pain and see it as an opportunity for new development within himself."
- Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D., The Resilient Spirit: Transforming Suffering into Insight and Renewal
Photo: Moon rising over Crookhaven Harbor, County Cork, Ireland, May, 2010, P. Doyle